Men get sad too. It’s true. Yet, we don’t hear a lot about men’s mental health in mainstream media. Anyone who identifies as male, can fall prey to societal messages that they need to be stoic, hide away their emotions and appear solidly able to weather any storm. This has deep impacts on how men seek out help.
Typically, clinicians in mental health are accustomed to hearing, “Women get sad and men get mad”. It’s a social expectation, and men may only feel heard when they express anger or engage in self-destructive behaviours. What the stats show in Canada is that men really do suffer in silence. Men are three to four times more likely to die by suicide, and those aged 40 to 60 make up a large proportion of these deaths.
How can men cope better?
As a therapist, I would recommend talking to someone. The most important thing to look for in a therapist is the ability to be comfortable enough to trust that your emotional state won’t be judged. However, not everyone may be ready to share, and that’s okay! Reaching out can be especially difficult for men because of the images of masculinity that are culturally prevalent.
Here are some ways to cope if you are still not ready to talk to someone:
- Structure breaks – plan your day with time set aside just to take a solid breather. Ten minutes at least once a day can do wonders. Try it!
- Meditate – Give yourself a few minutes of quiet awareness. You don’t need anything special, just a place to feel grounded and a few minutes to focus on your breathing. Your brain will attune, and things will shift. Practice daily if you can.
- Enjoy moments with loved ones –Start a group chat, call your mother, have coffee with a friend. Even small moments of social connection create a flurry of positive brain activity that cushions stress.
- Exercise – If you aren’t used to this, start small. Walking is safe for almost everyone and taking a stroll in a park or the woods is even better for our mood. All forms of activity release feel-good chemicals in your body. Sustaining an increased heart rate for 30 minutes is shown to create a wealth of health and happiness benefits.
If you or someone you know may be struggling with suicidal thoughts, you can call the Canada Suicide Prevention Service at +1 (833) 456-4566 any time, day or night, or chat online.